Friday, April 4, 2014

Bed-Rest and the Restless Momma

Most pregnant women would love to be put on bed-rest. I dreamed about it. Please, someone tell me to take it easy and not move out of my PJs for a few weeks. I beg you.

Chasing a toddler is not an easy task in and of itself. Add to that the added fatigue, growing belly, and (in my case) frequent and pesky contractions, it is downright miserable.

But when actually told, “You can’t get on a bus/metro. You can’t take a walk in the park. You can’t lift heavy things (namely your child). You can’t do a lot of housework (ok, not crying over that one!).” It kind of stinks after a while. I didn’t feel broken or fragile, but I was told that I had to act like it.

This mentality is totally foreign to me. With my first pregnancy I was able to do so much! I worked the day I went into labor. (Thankfully I felt bad enough to go home early, and my water broke as I was going up the stairs to my apartment.) I went jogging two days before I went into labor. I worked full-time and went to school full time. There was nothing I couldn’t do.

With this pregnancy I have spent the last three weeks in bed (which is not good for me because I am a naturally lazy person to begin with…add a doctor’s note saying this is where I belong? We’ve got trouble!) My intention, though, was to keep the clothes washed and folded, as well as update my blog weekly, if not daily, and touch base with stateside prayer partners and churches. As well as read the Bible more and watch some movies on Netflix. I was able to read the Bible a lot, but the other goals went out the window when our computer broke and it took about 2-3 weeks to fix it. So, I took up crocheting. I was able to finish 7 or 8 headbands for me and Ruth and some friends.

David was wonderful during this time, like I knew he would be. He took Gideon with him everywhere he went every single day. (Let’s just say he was extremely tired by the end of the month!) David now has a buddy. The other day, David was gone before Gid got up and after he went to bed. There was much crying and saying, “da-da?!” Gideon has always been a people person, and he loves getting out of the house to ride the bus and metro (and ride in the car when we have it). He also has fallen in love with football. That was one of his first words, “Ball!” He can throw the ball with a good form for an almost 2 year old, and his new favorite game is “Down, set, hut” where he gets down like a lineman and tackles you. It is precious!

He also went shopping for me when we did not have the car (he HATES shopping!)

I did do a few things while “resting”. I cooked lunch and dinner almost every day. When we had the car, David took me to the butcher and fruit shop so I could get out of the house and see people other than him and Gid. I was also able to have people over to the house for lunch and dinner. I just made sure not to do too much while they were over. David also took me to the mall and a second hand children’s store one day to buy a few things in case Ruth came early. So, I’ve had her bag packed for a few weeks, now. (Which is completely foreign to me; Gideon came so early (37.5 weeks) when I thought he would be late, I threw some things into a bag (or David did) on the way out the door to the hospital!)

It was so hard for me not to feel guilty during these weeks, though. Not being able to really watch Gideon so David could get a nice break or nap when he obviously needed it. Not being able to go out shopping or to the park when we needed something or when Gideon was really bored. Having to rely on David for almost everything or feeling like I was taking advantage of him. Staying in bed all day and not being able to meet with people or even go to church!

At the end of the three weeks, I was also battling depression. Not being able to get out except a few days for doctor’s visits or the very rare trip to the mall or butcher for 5 minutes really took a toll on my emotions. Only seeing my husband and son for a few hours every day while being totally alone most of the day left me close to tears many days, also. It also stretched my marriage. David would come home so exhausted from taking Gid everywhere, while I would be craving company and conversation. This created a lot of friction a lot of nights where we were not physically or mentally capable of meeting our partner’s needs. 

But, like so many other moments in my life, I believe God was trying to get me to draw closer to Him during this time and be fully reliant on Him. As afraid or nervous as I was of Ruth coming early, I knew that God has her in His hand. And me, too. And I also was able to rely more on David to take care of Gideon. Even with my husband and father of my children, this was a hard lesson. But for a control freak when it comes to my kids, this was a needed lesson.

So, while bed-rest was difficult and not at all dream-like, it did have its life lessons. And there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I am full-term now and off bed-rest. And I am looking forward to meeting my lovely baby girl!

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