Monday, August 17, 2015

Finding Joy in the Mundane

Why do we as women believe the lie that we are worthless? I struggle with this daily.



Two years ago, I posted a blog labeled "Here's My Cape...I am not Super Mom". This post is as relevant in my life (add one more kid) today as it was two years ago. I am not in Portugal anymore, but I still get overwhelmed with the everyday routine. Maybe not overwhelmed. Maybe more overqualified and discontent.



Not many people know this, but while I was in Portugal I was severely depressed. It was not the picture-perfect situation that I thought it would be. I had been dreaming of living overseas and being a missionary since I was a teenager, and the actual experience brought me to my knees. I fought with David constantly, and I ended up resenting the culture and the people. (The people and the culture are beautiful, but I had a heart issue that made me blind to that fact.) The only person I could rely on was God, and it is only by His grace that I survived that stage in my life.



Now that I am home, I still struggle with depression. I relate so much to the movie Mom's Night Out where she says, "This is it. This is my dream and I did it and why am I not happy?"

I cook and I clean and I change diapers. It is mundane. It is boring.









And Satan whispers, "You almost have your Master's degree. This is beneath you. What are you doing with your life?"



I heard over the radio a musician saying that he wants his kids to change the world, and while I want to see my kids change the world, it almost brought me to tears thinking that I was a failure to my parents. Why would they ever be proud of me? I will never change the world.



But, then, that still small voice tells me that I am doing what He has for me at this season of life. I do the dishes to be the helpmate my husband needs me to be. I change diapers and sing the ABCs and The Wheels on the Bus a million times a day because my children are important to me and my full time job. I am teaching them about Jesus and life, and that is what He has called me to do. He has also given me a chance to use my seminary training in teaching young women about Jesus and His Word. He has given me several roles to fill. And at this point, any other longing or discontentment is selfishness on my part.









So for now, as always, I have to rely on God, even to get me through the dishes.

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Back to School Only Means One Thing!

Back to school only means one thing in our house!

FOOTBALL IS HERE!!!


This week, Coach worked around 65+ hrs (and we haven't even started games, yet!) It is nice knowing that he is doing what he loves, but it is hard at the same time.
Ya'll, coaches put in a LOT of time and effort into the kids! I have to remind myself constantly that this is only for a season, and that this is our ministry. Whether or not we always act like it or remember it, God has called us to love on the players, coaches, and parents in a way that brings us (and them) closer to His Son.

The kids miss their daddy during the day, since they are used to him being home. But, we get to see him most days around lunch, always at dinner, and we go up to the school to practice a couple of times a week. Both of my kids love football. Gideon has gotten to where he will commentate for me. (They're wearing helmets. They push/throw/catch/run/get hurt.) And Ruthie will say "ball" when we get to the field house. And she always can pick out her daddy in the field of players and coaches.

It's not always easy being a coach's wife and mother of two toddlers (and one on the way!) But it is so worth it!


This year, we have added an extra element of crazy. We just signed Gideon up for U4 soccer. I believe this will be on Mondays, so I will have to video some games for Coach to see, since he will be at JV games. But, it was important for Coach to put Gideon in a competitive sport with other kids. Gideon isn't around other littles nearly enough. We'll see how it goes!

Back to School Only Means One Thing!


Back to school only means one thing in our house!



FOOTBALL IS HERE!!!






This week, Coach worked around 65+ hrs (and we haven't even started games, yet!) It is nice knowing that he is doing what he loves, but it is hard at the same time.
Ya'll, coaches put in a LOT of time and effort into the kids! I have to remind myself constantly that this is only for a season, and that this is our ministry. Whether or not we always act like it or remember it, God has called us to love on the players, coaches, and parents in a way that brings us (and them) closer to His Son.

The kids miss their daddy during the day, since they are used to him being home. But, we get to see him most days around lunch, always at dinner, and we go up to the school to practice a couple of times a week. Both of my kids love football. Gideon has gotten to where he will commentate for me. (They're wearing helmets. They push/throw/catch/run/get hurt.) And Ruthie will say "ball" when we get to the field house. And she always can pick out her daddy in the field of players and coaches.

It's not always easy being a coach's wife and mother of two toddlers (and one on the way!) But it is so worth it!




This year, we have added an extra element of crazy. We just signed Gideon up for U4 soccer. I believe this will be on Mondays, so I will have to video some games for Coach to see, since he will be at JV games. But, it was important for Coach to put Gideon in a competitive sport with other kids. Gideon isn't around other littles nearly enough. We'll see how it goes!


Wednesday, February 11, 2015

The Game that Changed My Life

Five Years ago today:

The school was closed for the biggest snowfall in Fort Worth's history. No classes! We all layered up, and went outside to enjoy the snow. Being from Texas (or Oklahoma or Hong Kong or South Korea) we had not seen that much snow. So, many of the students at SWBTS layered up and went outside to enjoy the rare treat.

Many people built snowmen (one was made of our dear president and his dog!) and made snow angels. There were snowball fights, and people made snow-ice cream. It was a fun-filled day that ended in my first trip to the local Korean restaurant with friends. There, the professor's wife told romantic stories about couples falling in love on snow days. My two friends and I laughed. That didn't happen that day.

Little did we know...

Earlier that day, after my friends went back inside the dorm to get warm and study, I walked around for a while. I love the rare snowfall, and did not want to go back inside, yet. I was not the only one outside after lunch. I saw a group of my guy friends, and we decided it would be fun to play football in the snow. They called a bunch of other people, and within 15 minutes we had a football game.

I was one of two girls (two more joined later), and we decided that for the girls it would be touch, but the guys would tackle. I knew all the guys except a few. One guy particular I had seen around and thought he was kinda cute, but what really stood out was his enthusiasm for the game. Apparently he had been a high school football coach before coming to seminary. His name was David.

David drew up plays for us and told us what position to play. He was extra patient with me, explaining in few words what my job was. "Run long." "Run 10 steps and stop." I was very appreciative because I knew that some of the guys just laughed at girls wanting to play, and didn't take us seriously. But I wanted to show my worth.

They put us man-on-man in the beginning. The first time I caught the ball, my opponent tackled me (I guess he forgot it was touch where the girls were concerned.) I was excited because I really wanted to tackle, anyway. If he could tackle me, then I could tackle others. But it soon became apparent that man wasn't working. I would get beat. Every. Time. So, we switched to zone. Carissa, the other girl, and I were the linebackers.
David told us, "Just keep them close to the line, don't let them have any yards, and we will come get them."
I thought, "Yeah right! I can tackle them myself!"
When the other team saw our formation, they went right for us. They thought they could run right up the middle, more specifically, right through me! No way they are getting through! I wrapped up, and boom! Down we fell into the snow. Everyone's jaw dropped. What just happened? This little 5'7, 130lb girl just tackled one of our tallest guys! Next snap, they ran the same play, just with a heavier guy. My adrenaline was pumping! I ran right for him. Wrapped up, and boom! Down we both went!
David was overjoyed! He actually had the nerve to say something to the effect that I could have D1 players if married to the right guy. I was both flattered and offended! I am not a dog or horse to breed! Then again, I did like being considered athletic. I wanted to say, "Wouldn't you like it to be you?" But I didn't want to be too forward. I didn't even like the guy like that. In fact, the first time I saw him (we had the same friends, we just didn't hang out with them at the same time) I thought he was married, or at least had a serious girlfriend. All the good ones did.

After a few more plays, the game was over. I made a few good tackles (even managed to tackle David, although I maintain that he tripped while I was trying to block for him), and had a whole lot of fun. Everyone went on their separate ways.

Nobody knew that a seed had been planted in David's mind. The dream of college (even NFL) football stars had been born. And the girl was pretty cute, too...